Nicholson Baker can't stand men in his porn. The dick kills his hard on. Not me. I need to see that dick, that big, stupid, barometer of pleasure. I find the dick refreshingly obvious: it just wants to be touched, kissed, caressed and it lets you know it. The cock is the most assured of signifiers, shooting itself into the hungry mouth of the referent. The Romans understood: Can you imagine enormous cunt sculptures gracing the town square? God bless the pussy for being so amorphous. But god bless the cock for being so cock sure of itself. No little tiny obscured hooded clitoris here; the dick is a clitoris the size of a fucking salami—and sans hood. And circumcision? Circumcision says, "Get everything out of the way, here comes my big Jew cock!" Really, it's in the moyel's prayer: 'Baruch atah adonai, get out of the way, here comes another big Jew cock'—slice.
Without the dick, porn confirms my greatest nightmare—the world of pleasure excludes me. Now, I understands Baker's aesthetic. Baker just wants to see all that shiny, happy female flesh, free of the needy groping and prodding of the moron cock. Can't blame him—all those cocks is kinda gay. Nonetheless, I gotta have the shlong.
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