The profound pleasures of web porn

A video, clearly homemade, of a German couple engaging in oral copulation; a posed image of a so-called 18 year old blonde coed in bra and panties and with the most enticing come hither expression; a man, bent over, being penetrated—lovingly—by a strapping Brazilian shemale; a browser window worth of thumbnails portraying everything from a posed pregnant woman to a cigarette smoking fellatrix to a woman being impaled by two penises at once, one for each rear entry hole; a browser download window marking the progress of a 57 megabyte video portraying an amateur Japanese woman, with pigtails, taking a man's penis, and eventually his semen, in her mouth—an oral creampie, as they say; a breathtaking still of two impeccable young women in a heartfelt, open mouthed, finger diving embrace. With all this at one's fingertips, who still rents porn from the video store?

All hail the internet!

But the internet offers more than bewildering breadth and prodigious variety: it offers the allatonce. Video porn serves the monolithic body of desire. Internet porn serves the teeming body of desires. I can take client calls while whacking furiously to the curiously provocative image of a woman blowing a dog all the while answering my friend from Idaho's hilarious email recounting the trials and tribulations of being the only big nosed Jew for thousands of miles and still, miraculously, getting laid.